Chapter 2 “The Longing” from The Invitation
I HAVE FAITH IN LONGING, wherever it finds me…
It is the voice of the parts of myself I have left behind in the deals I have tried to make with life, trying to trade pieces of my dreams for promises of safety…
It is not the being, no even the doing that exhausts. It is the trying: trying to be present, to be awake, to hold the whole world, to be better, more self-aware, more conscious. My hopes for us are real: I want to help create a world where the very idea of toxic waste would raise such a cry of anguish from the people as to make it unthinkable: where we would move, pulled by the heart, to care for the poor, the ill, the dying and despairing without debating where they are deserving, without fear of contamination, seeing ourselves in each person…
I want to quit running from my own tiredness. I want to be willing and able to move only as fast as I am capable of moving while still remaining connected of the impulse to move from deep withing, stopping when I have lost that slender thread of desire and having the courage and faith to wait, in stillness, until I find it again…
“What are you longing for?”
This is what I ache for: intimacy with myself, others, and the world, intimacy that touches the sacred in all that is life. This ache, this longing is the thread that guides me back through the labyrinth of compromises I have made, back to my soul’s desires. And sometimes I am afraid of my desires – afraid of that they will ask of me, what vision of myself or the world they will offer that may demand a sacrifice of my carefully cultivated way of seeing. If we are never consumed by the transforming fire of our desires, we risk falling in love with the sweet ache of longing, the daydream of “what if…” or “some day…”
Chapter 2 “The Longing” from The Invitation
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